Sunday, April 11, 2010

Free Tax Advice

Can April 15th get here any sooner? I am so excited to return to the glorious life of stay-at-home mother. In light of my celebratory mood, I am offering free tax advice to all my blog readers.

If your medical expenses do not total at least 7.5% of your income, it won't help.

If your casualty/theft losses do not total at least 10% of your income, it won't help.

If you have income and don't withhold taxes, you will probably owe*. Shocking, I know, but you'd be surprised how many people are just incredulous over this fact. "What!? My husband only made $120,000 last year and now your telling me we have to pay taxes on that!? This has been such a hard year." (Exact quote.)

The energy credit/education credit/dependent care credit/any other credit: please don't assume that you will be credited a dollar for ever dollar you spent. This has never been the case, and will never be the case, worlds without end, amen.

If you call your tax preparer and ask why your refund was not as big as your neighbor's/cousin's/sister's/etc... you will be mocked while you are on hold and then mocked again on a public blog.

*Unless of course you make less than a certain amount and have qualifying dependents. Then the IRS will pay you if your income is low enough. Earned income credit=destroyer of motivation/opposite of capitalism.


  1. Is it gonna be a big holiday/party at your house this week? I'm excited for your upcoming freedom. :)

  2. Woohoo for a return to normalcy. Wait, what am I talking about, we have kids, there is no normal anymore.
    I think you deserve a weekend away for surviving the last few months.

  3. I laughed at every single word in this post. But I'm sure you knew I would when you wrote it.

    People are awesome. HA HA!

  4. i must say, self-employment taxes are no fun.

  5. Haha! I hope you weren't quoting me! Just kidding. I know we have to pay every year. It will be nice to see you when you surface again on Friday.

  6. From the title of your post, I knew this would be good. Thank you for the free advice. =) See ya in a couple days!

  7. One more day!!! I definitely think that celebration is in order this weekend.