and clean.
you'd think that would make it easy to write. yes, it gives me time to write—which is half the battle. easy though? well. i guess no matter where i go i still have my brain following me around. which means i'm easily distracted. [and also i have crazy brain.]
but the quiet helps a lot. i have been sitting here all morning just thinking...and sighing...typing a few words then sighing some more.
i'm thinking about the things in my life that have been hard. not just hard like running 13 miles or giving birth. hard like being pregnant 36 months of my life and throwing up all day every day. hard like being falsely accused. being shamed and feeling like i deserved it. standing alone, being misunderstood. realizing that a few of my own dreams will not come true in this life.
things that have broken me.
and i'm thinking about my character, trying to think of what will break him. because my favorite kind of story is one where the protagonist becomes strong in his broken places. i hope the story i'm writing, as well as the one i'm living has that same character arc.
strong at the broken places.
I have done 7-8 months of throwing up pregnancy sickness, it is the hardest thing I have survived and the hardest things I will (God willing) do again. I can't imagine 36 months. Hats off to you.
ReplyDeletebeautiful, girl. and you are strong in your broken places. and thanks for being vulnerable and sharing that.
ReplyDeletefavorite thing i've read today: well. i guess no matter where i go i still have my brain following me around. HA HA.
ReplyDeleteembrace the breaking. the strength is worth it.
Love you Rachel. Every time I read your posts I tell myself it is time to sit and think and evaluate. You inspire and move me. I am yet to be strong in broken places but one day I will get there. Thank you for sharing.
ReplyDeleteWow. As always, so amazing. And so true. And so perfect. Thanks for being my friend and for being such a good example to me.
ReplyDeletewait, how did i miss this? a beautiful post.
ReplyDeletei wasn't throwing up for my pregnancy but it was still the hardest thing i've ever had to do emotionally and physically (if i'm including the 3 months after having a baby while i was in such a fog). i have no idea how people do it so many times...
Ditto to all of the above, especially: how did I miss this? Oh yeah; I blip off the face of the earth for days at a time - earth being the electronic world in general. I love you. Your post makes me wish I could fix some of your broken places, if any aren't healed yet.
ReplyDelete