routines and a fall playlist

Hello, hello.

After a chaotic start to October, I've settled into a good writing routine. It's lasted two days so far. Ha! But I'm counting that. The key for me is to put my blinders on and get my writing done first thing after the kids have left for school. Sometimes* I even have to leave the house or I'll start another load of laundry, make the bed, check emails, put away clothes and before you know it, I have an organized house but no writing done. And we can't have that, can we?

What about you? Do you have any wisdom you can share for sticking with a routine?

Here's a link to my FALL 2013 Spotify playlist I've been listening to. To cheer me up, to set a mood for writing a difficult scene, and everything in between. As usual, some new, some old. The last song is the soundtrack for the goat video I posted on Instagram. Email me if you don't do Spotify and I'll hook you up.

FALL 2013

1. Blurry-eyed Worries :: BRONZE RADIO RETURN
2. Analog or Digital :: WILDLIFE CONTROL
3. Knock Knock :: BAND OF HORSES
4. How Come You Don't Want Me :: TEGAN AND SARA
5. Blue Ice :: SHOUT OUT LOUDS
6. 1999 :: SHOUT OUT LOUDS
7. Junk of the Heart (Happy) :: THE KOOKS
8. The Way You Are :: 46BLISS
9. All My Life :: DJ HARRY
10. Lost and Found :: ADRIENNE PIERCE
11. Farther Along :: JOSH GARRELS
12. The Giving Tree :: THE AUTUMN FILM
13. Look At What the Light Did Now :: LITTLE WINGS
14. Death of an Interior Decorator :: DEATH CAB FOR CUTIE
15. A Lack of Color :: DEATH CAB FOR CUTIE
16. Yeah Yeah Yeah :: THE SOUNDS
17. WIsh You Were Hear :: THE SOUNDS
18. Bloom :: THE VEILS
19. Drive Darling :: BOY
20. Little Numbers :: BOY

*No, not sometimes. ALWAYS.

breathe deep

[image source]

hello friends. it's been an interesting couple of weeks. and by interesting i mean it's been horrible and i would just love a redo. too much yelling and anger and unkindness coming from my mouth these last weeks. because, in case you don't already know this about me, i am easily overwhelmed. even something like seeing the peaches from my peach tree smashed on the sidewalk [because i was too sick to pick them and so they fell off and are now infested with earwigs] is enough to make me crumple to the ground and start weeping because this world is all just too much. i am not joking.

friends, you are amazing. i see the kind of things you are dealing with and i am in awe at your courage and strength.

i am floored. stopped frozen in my tracks. friends, this life can be brutal. we suffer with addictions and want to claw out of our own skin. staying sober feels impossible. our fathers abandon us. our mothers get sick and we become their caretakers when we are still babies ourselves. our loved ones are addicts who cannot or will not recover and we watch them kill themselves in slow motion. our mothers--the life of our parties--die too soon. our children get sick or struggle to make friends and are called disgusting because their skin is not the same color as everyone else's. our husbands go crazy, literally. our organs are so messed up that the team of doctors who will be operating on us want to put us in medical journals. and some of us have our innocence stolen from us and carry that unclean feeling with us for a lifetime.

unspeakable.

in the quiet heart is hidden sorrow that the eye can't see.

i have spent some time these last couple weeks crumpling. i've been grieving life's adversities--mine and yours--as they come, because this is what it means to be me. i cannot swallow things down or shrug them away, much as i have tried. and whether the suffering is mine or yours, i feel it all the same. this is why i would make an excellent addict. i'd be the best freaking addict ever. and yet, when i am like this, i know i'm doing it right. i'm not using drugs or alcohol or reading or food or exercise or religion or work to buffer the pain. i've learned to just open up my heart let it come. because if i can keep my heart open, then the good stuff gets in too. the beautiful things, the blessings, the tender mercies.

and there are many. here is something i know: for every sorrow, every horror, every unjustice we live with in this life, god will make up the difference. he gives us the ability to handle the burdens, he blesses us a hundred fold in other ways and at other times to compensate. there will always be enough love and approval and grace for us in this life because of him. he pours out peace to our hearts, gives us friends to share our sorrows with, and when that is not enough, he gives us sunsets. rainbows.

sometimes even double rainbows. or triple rainbows. of course he does.

and god shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away.

friends, being a person who feels intensely means that i have the capacity to love ferociously. you are my people and i freaking love you. so, i thought i'd show that love to you using my love languages: quality time and receiving gifts [and please keep that in mind for me in the future]:

i have another playlist to share with you. this one i've taken great care to curate. most of the songs are peaceful and gentle because i think we need that right now. don't you? a few have a little more pep, but mostly, these are songs to sit with and be still.

breathe deep.

and then email me if you'd like me to share the actual mp3 files. otherwise, you can listen to this on spotify here. there are a few more songs on my spotify playlist than listed below, because i only own songs that i paid for. got it?

fall 2012 playlist: for my peeps who face life with courage and strength

1.Always | Digits
2. Ships On The Ocean Floor | The Autumn Film
3. The Stable Song | Gregory Alan Isakov
4. Breezeblocks | Alt-J
5. One Hundred Million Years | M. Ward
6. Catch | The Cure
7. Middle Of June | Noah Gundersen
8. Hear the Noise... | James Vincent McMorrow
9. Kingdom Come | The Autumn Film
10. Heart & Bones | The Pines
11. Lions in Cages | Wolf Gang
12. Mended | The Autumn Film
13. Hurts Like Heaven | Coldplay
14. Cold Feet | Lost Lander
15. Drown | Smashing Pumpkins
16. Beggar In The Morning | The Barr Brothers
17. Blood | Middle East
18. Something Good | Alt-J
19. Weather To Fly | Elbow
20. Animal Life | Shearwater

love you.

my new favorite things, plus new running music

oh, hello!

how are you? me, i'm good. the world is beautiful. our bodies are miraculous. children are precious. so many things to be grateful for. here are 5 things i've been enjoying a lot.


1. victoria bjorge's sketchbook
isn't the above image great? it's from her online sketchbook which she uses to foster inspiration. i'm going to try a collaging laser beams coming out of people's eyes in my own sketchbook and see if it helps me focus when i'm writing. ha!


2. spotify
am i the last one to know about spotify? it's my new favorite thing.

if you haven't heard about spotify, it's like pandora, BUT WITH DOUBLE RAINBOWS AND UNICORNS. you can create and/or listen to a radio station based on a song or artist, much like pandora, but spotify is like a whole other level of greatness. you can also create playlists to listen to whenever you want. you can find other people who have the same taste in music you do and follow their playlists, or just them in general. you can share music on facebook, twitter, or tumbler. you can listen to it on your smart phone or ipad. and if you are a paying member, you can make ANY playlist available offline. i think it's genius. and you can try it out for free for a month, then cancel your membership anytime you want.

i have playlists for my two novels, for a working idea of a story, and lots of other things. it's so much fun!


3. treadmill workout by iowa girl eats
i usually HATE the treadmill. i think it's ruined many a potential running lover. but, this workout has got me through a smoky, hellish utah summer. it's fast--only 30 minutes, it's really, REALLY hard and i can feel the afterburn from it all day long.[and really, her whole blog is excellent. workouts, recipes, and when i read her blog i feel like i'm chatting with a good friend]


4. running music
and last, a new-to-me running playlist that's making my indoor workouts feel like a party. i always start out with slow tempo and then take off. i think you're really going to like this music! you can see the full playlist over on my spotify, but the first 20 songs are listed below. i'm happy to share if you email me.

1. hit the ground (superman) / the big pink
2. i've got your number / passion pit
3. run on / moby
4. enjoy the silence / depeche mode
5. over and over / hot chip
6. girls like you / naked and famous
7. e-pro / beck
8. ice ice baby / vanilla ice
9. ready for the floor / hot chip
10. sixteen saltines / jack white
11. pull up the people / m.i.a.
12. midnight city / m83
13. lasso / phoenix
14. dilly / band of horses
15. gonna make you sweat... / c+c music factory
16. girl / beck
17. train in vain / clash
18. pure / the lightning seeds
19. someone great / lcd soundsystem
20. on top of the world / imagine dragons

my family's musical story in a venn diagram

when i lived at home, my mother would, on occasion, sneak into my room and...uh..."edit" my collection of music cassettes if she saw anything she judged to be inappropriate. meanwhile, she offended my teenage music sensibilities by listening to musicals, pretty much exlusively. she was particularly fond of michael ballam and i can sing from memory any song he ever sang on broadway.

i close my eyes, drew back the curtain
to see for certain, what I thought I knew
far far away, someone was weeping
but the world was sleeping
any dream will do

awesome. or not.

my mother and i had but one musical taste overlap. the beatles. especially the beatles on vinyl.

now, the circle of life is completing itself as elder daughter and elder son develop their musical [it is so hard to type this word] taste. they delight in torturing me with their music. they reset the stations in my car. they add the katy perry station to my pandora. they can't get enough of nicki minaj. maroon 5. one direction.

the only music we both like is the new passion pit album. so now i am biding my time, waiting for their musical tastes to mature. do you think i'll have to wait long? did you like the same music as your parents?

writing music

here's a great playlist for a summer road trip or a morning walk. me, i've been writing to this music for a while now, and i really love these songs. when i'm brainstorming or writing, i like a song that makes me think, or gives me some insight into a character's personality, or sets the mood, or maybe even makes me stop short and feel something i've been needing to.

i've left off some songs that you're probably already listening to and tried to include the stuff you might have missed.

if you're interested in the playlist, email me as usual.

1. Lost In The Light  |  Bahamas
2. Take A Walk  |  Passion Pit
3. Walking Far From Home  |  Iron & Wine
4. Is It Done  |  J Mascis
5. Vultures  |  Jess Mills
6. Twigs And Stones  |  Siskiyou
7. Red Red Rose (Demo)  |  The Weepies
8. Ho Hey  |  The Lumineers
9. Until We Bleed (With Lykke Li)  |  Kleerup
10. Get Gone  |  White Arrows
11. Crystalfilm  |  Little Dragon
12. Safer Than Love  |  Bell X1
13. Shake It Out  |  Florence And The Machine
14. Walk Away  |  Luminaires
15. Feeling Without Touching  |  Glass Candy
16. Will Do  |  TV On The Radio
17. The Myth Of Youth  |  Geographer
18. Just Breathe  |  Pearl Jam
19. Cut It Out  |  Kitten
20. In the Dark Unknown  |  Holcombe Waller

winter running playlist

hello friends! this winter's been unseasonably warm here and i've enjoyed more than a few outdoor winter runs.


amazing. i'm feeling like we've cheated mother nature with a beautiful summer, long fall, and now this.

here's my winter playlist. click here for a sample. ;-)


1. Feeling Without Touching - Glass Candy
2. Paradise - Coldplay
3. Do It Again - Holy Ghost!
4. Normandie - Shout Out Louds
5. Verona - Geographer
6. Trojans - Atlas Genius
7. Mixtapes - Plushgun
8. Walk This Way featuring Aerosmith - Run DMC
9. Safer Than Love - Bell X1
10. Called Out In The Dark - Snow Patrol
11. Swing Tree - Discovery
12. Eyes As Candles - Passion Pit
13. All Of This - Naked and Famous
14. Block After Block - Matt & Kim
15. After Midnight - Blink-182
16. Anyway You Choose To Give It - The Black Ghosts
17. Punching In A Dream - Naked and Famous
18. Girl - Beck
19. Beatbox - Sounds
20. Lazy Eye - Silversun Pickups
21. Night Winds - Geographer
22. Hummingbird - The Weepies
23. Derezzed - Daft Punk

oh, HELLO.

It's a sad story with a happy ending.

School started, I had scheduled, uninterrupted writing time everyday, and the blog fell by the wayside. Writing my new work-in-progress has been emotional, spiritual, and such a different experience than writing DYING LIGHT. The process has left me feeling vulnerable, exposed, and one hundred per cent sure that I am meant to be writing this. (And I've only written the first five chapters or so.)

Since my last post I've had an emotional breakdown (which happened, embarrassingly during writer's group at the Barnes and Noble cafe, right next to the knitting group), a bout of weird depression in which I woke up crying from my dreams all night long, and a recommitment to living a spiritual life dedicated to doing what the Lord wants me to do, and not the things I want to do (though on my best days these are the same thing). I don't think it's coincidental.

And the happy ending? I hope to be blogging more frequently. Here's a playlist that I have on repeat over and over. I know I've already shared some of these songs, but so what. They're awesome and I'm reminding you of them. I'm happy to share, if you email me.

Also, if you haven't already purchased Ben Howard's album on Amazon, you should do it now.

1. Old Pine / Ben Howard
2. London [Live on the Thames] / Ben Howard
3. Gracious / Ben Howard
4. Half Moon / Blind Pilot
5. Tonight Is The Kind Of Night / Noah & The Whale
6. Right Before My Eyes / Cage The Elephant
7. Out Go The Lights / Spoon
8. I Turn My Camera / Spoon
9. You, Me, & the Boatman / Quiet Company
10. Fairytale Lullaby / Bombay Bicycle Club
11. Rinse Me Down / Bombay Bicycle Club
12. Shuffle / Bombay Bicycle Club
13. Lights Out, Words Gone / Bombay Bicycle Club
14. OK Pal / M83
15. 1957 / Milo Greene
16. See You / Benjamin Francis Leftwich
17. Dont Stop (Color On The Walls) / Foster The People
18. Pumped Up Kicks / Foster The People
19. Helena Beat / Foster The People
20. If You / I Dream In Colour
21. Punching In A Dream / Naked and Famous
22. Block After Block / Matt & Kim
23. The A Team / Ed Sheeran
24. Fresh Blood / Eels
25. Milk Honey / Beatsteaks
26. Cheap Comments / Beatsteaks
27. Crystalfilm / Little Dragon
28. Until We Bleed (With Lykke Li) / Kleerup
29. Vultures / Jess Mills
30. Sail / Awolnation
31. A Real Hero (Feat. Electric Youth) / Drive College
32. Pouring Rain At Dawn / Jayhawks
33. Santa Fe / Beirut
34. Lost In My Mind / The Head And The Heart
35. Winter Song / The Head And The Heart

gratitude day 23: ipod

sometime around 1990 i got my first walkman. i spent hours listening to the radio, waiting for my favorite songs to come on, finger trigger-ready to hit the record button as soon as i heard the opening notes.

i made a running mixtape in high school that i ran to (the same 20 songs) until mr. coleman bought me a discman in 1997. then i burned most of the same songs onto a cd and continued running to them. can you believe i ran to the same 20 songs for 10 years?

pictured above is my first ipod, a second generation ipod nano, and the one i now use for running. it appears to be on the fritz, which is making me weepy.

cute, light, friendly little ipod nano: do not die on me. we have weathered the storms of life together.

the technology for the ipod is fascinating and a blessing i'm grateful for every day. hooray for apple and their brilliant inventors and industrial designers! huzzah for mp3s!

now, i'm still running to some of those same songs. crazy, i know, like pavlov's dogs, i feel like running every time i hear some of them; i just can't quit them.

i do enjoy finding new running music. my favorite source for new discoveries is the music section of the nike plus website. they have a new suggestion every week in several genres. of course, i love me some indie music.

and now for you all, a playlist with old and new favorites: (i always start my runs out with the first song. these words are a great way to start out a day: "today is the greatest day i've ever known")

old:

today / smashing pumpkins

i want you back / the jackson 5

up around the bend / creedence clearwater revival

a little respect / erasure

don't go / yaz

rag doll / aerosmith

friday i'm in love / the cure

remember you / skid row

new:

make some noise / beastie boys

captive / sarah harmer

burning / whitest boy alive

running with the wolves / cloud cult

giving up the gun / vampire weekend

techno fan / wombats

under cover of darkness / the strokes

block after block / matt & kim

am/fm sound / matt & kim

repatriated / handsome furs

shoelaces / the submarines

colours run / bear driver

we don't want your body / stars

the passenger / stars

i melt with you (modern english cover) / the coastals

sadie hawkins day / yip deceiver

as usual, let me know if you'd like a mixtape...then pay for the music if you love it.

gratitude day 21: summer

ah.

i love summer. lazy mornings, trips to the lake, garden produce, hours and hours of sunshine, eating outdoors, cool morning runs, flip flops, snow cones.

i am a summer girl.

here is a playlist to listen to whilst sipping a chilled beverage floating on a raft down a lazy river while bees hum decadently around summer wildflowers (or while scrubbing your kitchen floor and pretending that you are doing this). my favorite song is track #3, london, BEN HOWARD. i think this will be music week on my blog. i'm headed off right this moment for a 2-day writer's retreat, but when i get back i'll be sharing some more music and some of my favorite sources for discovering new talent.

hope you are all enjoying your summer. i am making the most of every minute. let me know if you'd like a mixtape ;-).

floating
1. you were born / cloud cult
2. you for me / terra naomi
3. london / ben howard

4. first person / jenny owen youngs

5. more than life / whitley

6. replay / pezzettino

7. wessex boy / frank turner

8. i still remember / churchill

9. before i knew / basia bulat

10. okay (henslee version) / venice is sinking

11. old pine / ben howard

12. calgary / bon iver

13. the lion and the wolf / the lion and the wolf

14. not enough (album) / j mascis

15. lost in my mind (album) / the head and the heart

16. wonder why (album) / vetiver

17. already in love / exene cervenka

18. evelyn / gregory alan isakov

19. eet / regina spektor

20. psychasthenia / william fitzsimmons

21. we're from barcelona / i'm from barcelona

22. the very thought of you / billie holiday

23. les jours de pluie / les jours de pluie

24. think you can wait / the national

25. euphoria / motopony

26. you are the ocean and im good at drowning / phantogram

27. landfill / daughter

28. flaws / bombay bicycle club

29. low rising / swell season

30. middle distance runner / sea wolf

31. three tree town / ben howard

32. trouble / ray lamontagne

33. to build a home / the cinematic orchestra

34. strawberry swing / coldplay

gratitude day 11: ben howard

dear ben howard:

this may seem awkward, as we've never met, but where have you been all my life? i want to marry this song; it's folk perfection. i am anxiously awaiting the release of your debut EP may 23rd in the states. until then, i'll just keep on watching your video on YouTube and wishing i lived closer to ireland so i could see a live gig. if you ever come to utah, let's plan to meet up, okay mate? you could play your guitar for our talent portion of family night or something.

love,

rachel

gratitude day 10: clean

welcome back, self! hello friends! it's wonderful to be blogging again. so many things on my mind, but first things first. i must whip this messy house into submission with some serious spring cleaning. and to that of course i need a good spring cleaning playlist. which i share with you below. leave a comment if you'd like me to hook you up with some motivational music, friends. i love to share. [here, at my house, the daffodils are just now opening up. happy yellow promises of warmer days to come.]

i love a clean house. i love a clean body. i love a clean manuscript. i love a clean mind and a clean spirit. i am dedicating this week to cleaning of all sorts of things that have been neglected during tax season.

here's my playlist. is there any essential tunes you'd add? let me know!

Take Ya Dancin - Say Hi
Something Good Can Work - Two Door Cinema Club
Lazy Eye - Silversun Pickups
Home - Edward Sharpe & The Magnetic Zeros
L.I.F.E.G.O.E.S.O.N. - Noah & The Whale
Eyes As Candles - Passion Pit
Rolling In The Deep - Adele
All Of This - Naked and Famous
I Didn't See It Coming - Belle & Sebastian
Black & Blue - Miike Snow
Superhuman Touch - Athlete
Sleepyhead - Passion Pit
Hock It - The Blow
Ahead Of My Time (Feat. Daddy Boastin') - Teddybears
Animal - Neon Trees
Blue Skies Again - Jessica Lea Mayfield
Punching In A Dream - Naked and Famous
I Wanna Be Sedated - Ramones
Blister In The Sun - Violent Femmes
Starry Eyed - Ellie Goulding
Architects And Engineers - Guster
Shape Of My Heart - Noah & The Whale
Let's Go Surfing - The Drums
Good To Sea - Pinback
Young Blood - Naked and Famous
Different Sound (Feat. Malte) - Teddybears

This Is The Life - Two Door Cinema Club
Little Secrets - Passion Pit
Race You - Elizabeth & The Catapult
Skippin' Town - The Drums
5 Years Time - Noah & The Whale
Animal - Miike Snow
Middle Distance Runner - Sea Wolf

mixtape winter 2011

good winter morning! there are few things i love more in life than making my own mixtape. the best mixes are like a well-paced book—a few intense scenes followed by a quiet one, rinse and repeat.

allow me to share my latest mixtape with you. i can't stop listening to it. i wonder if i'll ever get sick of these songs. guess there's only one way to find out. if you'd like me to hook you up, send me an email or tell me in the comments ;-).

White Knuckles | Ok Go
Orange Sky | Alexi Murdoch
Shake Me Down | Cage The Elephant
Kites | Geographer
Night Winds | Geographer
Verona | Geographer
Mustache Man (Wasted) | Cake
I Was Made for Sunny Days | The Weepies
Hummingbird | The Weepies
Giving Up The Gun | Vampire Weekend
Big Jet Plane | Angus & Julia Stone
Yellow Brick Road | Angus & Julia Stone
Derezzed | Daft Punk
Normandie | Shout Out Louds
The Comeback | Shout Out Louds
The Ghost Inside | Broken Bells
Babelonia | School Of Seven Bells
Don't Carry It All | The Decemberists

gratitude day 2: music

it doesn't matter if i'm playing beethoven's sonata pathétique or zez confrey's dizzy fingers on the piano, listening to band of horses or brahm's requiem, or singing hymns at church. music hits me, moves me, changes me, in a way that nothing else does.

music soothes distress, pushes me to run farther/faster, helps me earn a living, and brings me joy. also, concerts! diversion! fun!

i love discovering new bands and reminiscing as i listen to an old favorite. i cannot ever get enough, which is why i am so grateful to know that there will be music in the next life.

thank you, world, for music.

what i'm enjoying today:

ok go | white knuckles

dinosaur jr. | see you

shout out louds | the comeback

the decemberists new album, streaming in its entirety here, to be released jan. 18.

musical wanties

so many great albums out or coming out in the next weeks! here's a few i have my eye on.

arcade fire | the suburbs

ra ra riot | the orchard

the weepies | be my thrill

belle and sebastian | write about love (so excited for another album! i prelistened in npr and it's a beauty)

weezer | hurley (front man como has an english degree from harvard)

sufjan stevens: the age of adz (which sounds nothing like his previous stuff, but i love it somehow anyway)

what are you listening to?

road trip mix

Of course, I've got an Ipod, but I still can't find a way to get the sound quality to match a good old-fashioned cd mix. Here's what we're listening to. How about you?

Think Of Me-Rosi Golan

Hear Me Out-Frou Frou

Blue Beard-Band Of Horses

Dilly-Band Of Horses

Everlasting Light-The Black Keys

Howlin' For You-The Black Keys

The Boy With The Arab Strap-Belle & Sebastian

Heart Skipped A Beat-Xx

Islands-Xx

World Spins Madly On-The Weepies

Square Peg Round Hole-Wakey!wakey!

Almost Everything-Wakey!wakey!

Drowning Men-Fanfarlo

Finish Line-Fanfarlo

Fire Escape-Fanfarlo

Swing Tree-Discovery

Take A Bow-Glee Cast

If I Had Eyes-Jack Johnson

Aisle 13-Built To Spill

Supermassive Black Hole-Muse