depression is hard to understand (for loved ones of the depressed, and the depressed themselves), hard to treat (at least in my experience) without feeling like a cold, dead, reptilian devoid-of-feelings person, and impossible to not blame myself for.
over the years, i have developed a few tricks to keep the sad wolves at bay: excercise, limit refined sugars, prayer, healthy relationships. but this fall has been HARD. and for no particular reason, which makes me feel even worse when i stop and think about it.
i have a great, wonderful, easy life with millions of blessings and tender mercies. children! prosperity! friends! health! freedom! clean water! maroon skinny jeans!
and yet.
if you ever wanted to know what it's like to have depression, you should read this.
meanwhile i'll keep waking up at 5am to fit in my exercising. cuz as crazy as that seems, it's helping.
Maroon skinny jeans! I love it! I hope this winter gets better for you. Maybe Nano will help??? I hope.
ReplyDeleteI don't know exactly how you feel but I sure do love you and can't wait to see you in a few days and give you a big HUG. And lots and lots of refined sugar, because I think that will help. :) Just kidding.
ReplyDeleteI'm thankful that you have such determination to wake up at 5 to run. I'm still trying to find that determination.
ReplyDeleteDepression stinks. No words around it. It stinks and robs. And turns you upside down.
Really wishing I could say we were headed up there this weekend. Really wish the 12 hour drive was more manageable with 2 year olds. Sadly, we have to save the epic drives for times when we can stay longer. Tell Emma we are so so sorry we can't be there on her special day. It's breaking me.
Thank you! Depression is hard. I often blame myself too. And, I feel like everyone is judging me because I can't snap out of it sometimes. Even though it means that others have to feel what I feel, I'm glad I'm not alone (in more ways than one). If you ever need to talk, please feel free to text, email, call, tweet, etc. :)
ReplyDeletehyperbole and a half is the BEST. have you ever seen the one about, "clean ALL the things!" ?
ReplyDeletedepression is no fun. i'm not sure i've ever experienced it quite like other people have, but i do know what it's like and it sucks.
i really really really wish that i would be there this weekend to give you a giant hug.
I hear ya sister. Beautifully explained. And know I'm here for ya!
ReplyDelete