Sunday, October 11, 2009

What Matters Most

Last week, a friend, neighbor, and leader of our church's congregation (our bishop) passed away. At his funeral, his children talked about the kind of father he was. He was loved so deeply by so many. He was a man among men and his influence will always be felt in my life.

Last night, Casey Anne's musical theater teacher died in a tragic bus accident while trying to save the lives of her students on the bus.

Suddenly, so many things in my life seem to hold so little importance. Today I can't stop thinking about the legacy I will leave behind after I die. Will my family know that I loved them? Did I spend my time on things that mattered most? Am I making the most of my time here? Am I grateful for the people I love? Did I do enough?

Am I enough?

And I want to be. I'm trying. I just have to remind myself that life is a marathon, not a sprint.

I want to be able to declare like Paul: "I have fought a good fight, I have finished my course, I have kept the faith; henceforth is laid up for me a crown of righteousness."

And feel as confident as Enos: "And I rejoice in the day when my mortal shall put on immortality, and shall stand before him; then shall I see his face with pleasure, and he will say unto me: Come unto me, ye blessed, there is a place prepared for you in the mansions of my Father."

And now, if you'll excuse me. Mr. Coleman just arrived back home, giving me a dusty kiss, after being outside in the dirt and wind for three days. I have important things to do.


  1. That is one nice thing about funerals. They make us reflect on the kind of impact we are making in the lives about people we care about, and whether we are doing enough.

    We were sad to hear about the death of the music leader. I am sure that is devastating for your community. What a tragedy! What a noble act of sacrifice! We will pray for your family's comfort at this hard time, especially for Casey Anne.

  2. I am sorry for your loss, Rachel. Was the Bishop's death unexpected? Even if it's a long illness, it's still hard to loose someone you love.

    Thank you for your post. I have been having these feelings so much lately myself. I tell myself not to be morbid, but I do worry about what I will leave behind. I do my best and I pray that is enough. Thank you for your wonderful example.

  3. Wow - Our ward was all abuzz yesterday about the same accident, and who knew who... that same teacher had texted a friend of mine right before she died. I never found out if Miranda knew her, also. I'm sure I'll know after school today. I'm so sorry for Casey's time of grief. And I love your post about things that matter so much. Thank you, as always.

  4. wow, that's a lot of sadness in a short amount of time. sorry to hear about all of it.

    eternal perspective always makes such a difference, doesn't it?

  5. I just wrote in my journal about what matters most... obviously not well put like yours though.

    Sorry to hear the sadness. I think about death too much and I try so hard to think of it as just moving onto the next life, but it still makes me want to cry, even if I don't know the person.

  6. I was just listening to the "mothers who know" talk again and had the same feelings. Am I doing enough? Great post Rach.