dear mr. military-man-who-dresses-in-his-fatigues-at-starbucks-cafe-and-asks-to-share-a-table-with-me:
although i was too polite to tell you to go sit somewhere else, i worked hard all day to fit these two interrupted hours of writing time into my schedule before meeting my writer's group. i agreed to have you share a table with me, not talk nonstop for two hours.
contrary to what you thought, i would venture to guess that the young adult book genre contains thousands of stories that are brilliantly written and not about vampires.
everyone has story ideas. thinking of ideas is not the difficult part of writing that "makes you rich". the work is the writing. so no, i don't think i will write your idea like you suggested and "make millions" with you.
i did not really care that you have been in the military for 13 years and are taking a nuclear physics class and can drink 4 pots of coffee a day and still "sleep like a baby".
nor did i want to know about the black lesbian couple or the sexual fantasies that the men serving in your unit in iraq had about them.
also, i really didn't want to hear about the cross dresser in your unit who got beat up but was a "sharp shooting sniper".
it was good to hear that you would support local authors, but you'll have to forgive me for not giving you my full name. you scared me just a little bit.
and just so you know, i'm pretty sure you won't find rand mcnally in the list of "big publishers" for novels. so no, i won't be contacting them when my book is finished, unless i do some drastic editing to my medieval fairy tale and add in a lot of racy driving directions.
remember when you said: "it looked like you were really involved in your writing a few seconds ago, so you probably just missed my eyes drooping and my head nodding."? well, those "few seconds" were the only writing i got done with you at my table. i was trying to give you a subtle hint, but i guess you didn't quite catch on.
so of course, i have no choice but to mock you publicly on my blog. sorry about that. because i really do think you are a hero in some ways.
just not last night.