Friday, December 5, 2008

A short story, kindly told as a caution to dear friends

On Wednesday I went to pick up Micah and Emma from a neighbors' house. It was early evening and I was feeling rather rundown. I was actually out of breath from walking from my van to their front door. Since getting sick three weeks ago I have not quite got my mojo back. I've felt weak, tired, breathless. Actually, I've felt like I was pregnant, only without the throwing up. Hhhhhmmmm...

Oh, where was I?

Ah yes. So, I haven't had the energy to get things done. Like cleaning the toilets, making my bed. You know, those kind of things. Well, said neighbor also happens to be a P.A. and generally an awesome person all around. When I mentioned my health woes to him, he whipped out his stethoscope (which was sitting on his kitchen table), took a listen to my breathing, and diagnosed me with Walking Pneumonia. Bless his heart.

Apparently, Walking Pneumonia is what people get who must carry on regardless of how they feel. You're body is thinking about getting really sick, but just not doing it yet. I think you could call it Procrastinator's Pneumonia. Also, You're not sick enough to deserve sympathy, because you are still functioning, but you would still like a little help around the house. If you can forgive my language, you could also call it Half-Assed Pneumonia.

So, he gave me some medicine (which was also sitting on the kitchen table). Perhaps you've heard of it: LEVAQUIN. Again, bless his heart.

I took the medicine before going to bed. That's when the trouble began. Because this is a short story, I will just copy the possible side effects listed on the medicine, and you can get an idea of what happened.

The most common side effects caused by LEVAQUIN, which are usually mild, include nausea, diarrhea, itching, abdominal pain, dizziness, flatulence, and rash. Quinolones, including LEVAQUIN, may also cause central nervous system stimulation which may lead to tremors, restlessness, anxiety, lightheadedness, confusion, hallucinations, paranoia, depression, nightmares, insomnia, and rarely, suicidal thoughts or acts.

I'll be taking them in the morning from now on.

The End


  1. Well now, isn't that just something?!! I'm imagining a very intimate, long night with your toilet.

  2. I love when the side effects of medication are seemingly worse than the sickness they are trying to ward off.

    I've been telling everyone I feel as tired as I did when I was pregnant (which I'm not). Luckily, I when I came to the "walking pneumonia road", I must have made a u-turn back to the healthy road because I'm feeling better. Good thing because that 'P' word is too hard to spell.

    Bless your heart, Rachel.

  3. I am so sorry. great way to lose a few pounds before the christmas holiday........?
    hope you feel well soon, though I'd like to be around when you start hallucinating - you know, just for the enjoyment of it - pure entertainment.

  4. First, I sighed, oh no, she's still sick! Then you had me laughing with your witty comments about pneumonia. And then I felt truly awful for you. It would be kind of funny to hear what you hallucinated about. Any hot vampires?
    I am hoping you took the day to recover, and let Mr. Coleman take care of you this weekend. You are no good to me, or your cute family, dead! :)

  5. Hallucinations? I need to hear about that.

    I'm still sick too. Thought I was getting better, but I woke up sick again today. All I want to do is lay in bed... which is kinda nice actually because I'm reading The Book Thief and its amazing.

    Get well soon!

  6. Rachel, you are just too funny! Your comments have me in stitches!! However, I really do hope you feel better soon. ;-)

  7. Owy! I hope the medicine does what it's supposed to-help and not make you crazy. :)
    Ok though, that is just hilarious. I had to share your thoughts on pneumonia with my hubby.