The Coleman Dozen

Twelve years with Mr. Coleman. If only we knew what we were getting into. Two of the world's most stubborn spirits and look what love has taught us: patience, forgiveness, hope, tenderness—for each other and ourselves. There is no one else I'd rather take that journey with.

The power of love to heal our hurts and hearts is very real. Thank you, Mr. Coleman for loving me the last dozen or so years. You have given me a gift that I am not sure I can repay. I love you.

To include all my dear readers in the celebration, please enjoy my current favorite love song:

Grow Old With Me: The Postal Service

photo by Brook Andreoli Photography

letter to summer

Dear Summer:

I think you can tell that I am mad at you. Things just haven't been the same between us for awhile.

First there was June, in which you wouldn't stop raining and refused to let the sun shine. I blame you for all my plant problems this year. You have given me nothing but diseased leaves and hordes of gray beetles every where I look. I don't even like to look at my plants anymore. You even killed my zuchinni plant which I previously assumed was impossible.

And then there was July, in which you turned my angelic offspring into Jerry Springer Talk Show participants. All I heard was fighting and tattling. You did this. Never again will I trust you to provide endless hours of entertainment for my children. Never again.

And do we really need to talk about August? I thought we were going to work things out when you got me nice and tan in Arizona. But then you decided to masquerade as Fall for a few weeks. I shivered and wore hoodies, all the while stuffing my resentment in hopes we could work things out.

But I have news for you. The kids are back in school, my house is back in order,  and I've found someone new. His name is Fall.

I think we should just be friends. Keep in touch and stay sweet.

Until next year,

Rachel

piling up

Things are really piling up around here, including my to-be-read list. For a few weeks I was so stressed and over-scheduled that I couldn't even settle my mind down enough to read. But things are starting to settle down. Things I need to post about still:

highlights from my trip to arizona

lucas' 3rd  birthday

thoughts on being married for 12 years

notes from a family-friendly-nutrition class i taught

coaching micah's soccer team

the first day of school

adeiu to summer

For now, this picture of all my books to read will have to do. Between getting kids ready to start school, designing a website, clearing up some errors on our credit report, learning how to coach soccer, and playing text twist there has been no time for blogging. I wonder which one of those things I could give up to allow more time for blogging? 

fashion shudder

I finally found a fashion trend I dislike more than voluminous, dressy shorts or skinny jeans.

Harem pants. **shudder**

I don't think I could possibly continue a relationship with anyone who supports this fashion.

silver lining

Currently waiting for my photographer to send me a cd of all the pictures she took for us on our AZ trip. In the meantime, I am listening to:

Rilo Kiley - Sliver Lining.

Enjoy, and then pay for your own because you love it so much and deep down  you are an honest person. I bought it for FIVE CENTS at mp3fiesta.com.

Things I'd like to remember about our trip: good food, lots and lots of sun, Mom's hat at the Phoenix Zoo, the perfect orange skirt at the thrift store, movies [good and bad. I still stand firm on my opinion of Dumb and Dumber], trips to QT, hummingbirds on my morning runs, baby girl twins—squared, and crying with Steven on Mom's bed the day before I left [another reminder that hope is still alive and the power of prayer is tangibly real].

Photo taken on our trip home between Flagstaff and Page somewhere near the North Rim of the Grand Canyon.

shell

What is this body I find slumped on my Mother's couch every morning? Its gray, crepe paper face is tinged with yellow and a dead give away--a liver that can't keep up with all the poison entering this body. It is the shell. The physical body that once housed my brother Steven. This shell that steals our valuables makes us feel afraid, turning us into locked doors and mistrust.

I look in his eyes and only see the emptiness he has carved out feeding his addiction. Those eyes are gray like his face and hungry with need.

Where are you Steven? Are you inside there somewhere, drowning in your pool of shame? The pool we have emptied buckets of liquid anger and disappointment into? Now, we cannot fashion the rope to rescue you, your family who loves you with this sharp sorrow.

The steps out of this pool are there on the side. Don't you remember how to see them? We point to them with our desperate sadness. We hope you reach the first one and keep on climbing. Save yourself because we are the onlookers and cannot do it for you. Our hands our tied with the chords of your agency.

But our hearts.

Our hearts love you. They miss you. Our hearts wait for you and our hearts do not give up hope.

law of the harvest

We are currently enjoying the fruits of our labors. Before we built our house, a neighbor gave me some raspberry starts. I planted them, tended them, and loved them for six years. This year, I have finally achieved my dream.

60 cups of raspberry jam.

There is nothing better than a sun warmed, ripe raspberry. Perfection. 

Today has been crazy getting ready for a last minute trip to Arizona. I can't wait to see my family. I've missed them like an addict misses his fix. And Mr. Coleman will enjoy a little break from us, I suspect.

Here's my get-ready-for-the-trip-to-do list, all done today(except the ironing, still procrastinating that one):

pick weeds in herb garden

dry cleaners

buy new ink cartridge

plan primary music for august

find a substitute

re-schedule piano lessons

pick up book at library

car washed

wash 8(!) loads of dirty laundry

clean house (thank you kids + Mr. Coleman. You are appreciated.)

visiting teaching

music to primary pianist

buy activity books for road trip

download new songs onto i-pod 

charge camera battery

call angela to schedule haircut

design ColemanXcavation softball t-shirts and order from screen printers

post on my blog

catch up on So You Think You Can Dance (while I'm ironing)

Tomorrow: pack, teach piano Master Class, hit the road.