Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Help a girl out

So, I have a dilemma. I have foot problems. I need a pair of summer sandals that can handle a day at Sea World. Also, I am super cheap.

That's where you come in. My lame-o $7.99 flip flops are not going to work. I just went to run a few errands with them on and now my toe hurts so bad that I think I cried a little. (Let's keep that between you and me, 'kay?)

Here are a few sandals I have been thinking about. What do you think? Any other suggestions? You should probably know that:

a.) They have to be really well-supportive and comfortable, but I am also vain. Form and function required.

b.) I inexplicably loathe the gladiator-style sandal. Possibly more than skinny jeans.

Please help. Thanks!

Thursday, May 20, 2010

A Vacuum Fairy Tale

A long time ago, in a land far, far away two young newlyweds purchased a vacuum from a traveling salesman. They used it dutifully for many years, paying the high price of the filters set by evil Filter Queen company. Then one day, the now gray and hardened wife hatched a plan to thwart this evil in her life.

And so she did.

She tossed the vacuum into a vast pit so no one would ever have to be plagued by it again. And she requested a new vacuum from the Amazon Fairy because it came recommended from the land of Consumer Reports. It was magically delivered to her door with no cost at all.

Now she and her children vacuum happily in their quaint cottage nestled against towering mountains. And she rests easy in the knowledge that she can buy 44 Hoover Tempo Widepath Vacuums for the price she paid for the first vacuum.

The end.

Sunday, May 9, 2010

i did not doubt my mother knew it

i had a magical childhood. i sang, i danced, i drew and i dreamed—encouraged every step of the way by my mother.

we went on family vacations, camping trips; she signed me up for drawing and pottery classes; she drove me to singing lessons, ballet lessons, flute lessons, piano lessons, church youth groups. she taught me how to make jam and grind my own wheat and feel comfortable being myself.

she had nine children. became the guardian of four more when her sister died unexpectedly. and then one foster daughter when another sister couldn't take her in anymore.

every good part of me i owe to her. i love you mom. i hope you know how much.

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

race recap

i ran my first half marathon of the year on saturday. also, the first since my toe nerves declared war on me.

it was hard. it rained, hailed and snowed the whole time. i was cold. i bled all over my shoes. i got my worst time yet. the battery on my nike+sensor died. after the race my 11-year-old said to me, "mom, you look like lady gaga."

also, it was fun. i met someone during the race who said, "hey, are you a melzer?" isn't that great? she went to school with my sister and somehow recognized me. we ran together for awhile before i had to slow down. nice to meet you, christy owens.

so, after all that, i've come to realize something: there are two types of people in the world. those that would pay $30 extra to choose their own combo of colors on their running shoes and those that would not. i know what type i am. what type are you?